I’ve been trying to write this post for a long time but I couldn’t find the words to describe exactly my feelings. I decided to empty my bag today and explain what I was going through…
Chapter 1: The new year
As soon as the fireworks of midnight start exploding in the sky on the first January 2021 I new it was the time of new resolutions, so before going to bed that night i thought about what I wish for this new year and sighed… Let’s just wait and see I told myself and went to sleep.
Next morning I woke up sick… Something like a flue, I tried to fight it but after week later of feeling unwell I came to realize that I had covid-19 and that I couldn’t smell anything…
All I had plan to make a big coming back to work was doomed by a f*cking worldwide virus. It tooks me another week of fever, anxiety, tiredness , a lot of praying and eventually I got better after the 14 days.
That thing made me lost interest of everything, I couldn’t find comfort anywhere except sitting in the garden watching nature and being thankful to be able the see and feel the sun on my skin.
One day I found the courage to undust my computer , open my whatsapp business and I saw that People had start writing to me to ask why I hadn’t made emails yet announcing my availability to work and the only answer i told everyone was that I needed to reorganize things before taking new projects.
Guess what? it was actually a good marketing strategy, make people want me instead of me running after them as every year was a really good motivation and I started working again progressively.
Chapter 2 : The aging
Without knowing I found myself submerged by work between February and March, this was getting at the best and my bank account was pretty happy!
It was great to be able to help people again with there project and I particularly thanks all the ones who pushed me to give more of myself again during this annoying period. It really was an awesome support.
Then one day, I received an email from a friend-client who wanted me to set up the website for an annual event, I generally do the event’s logo each year but it seems that they had already got their new logo and it scares me because it was actually good.
After that a chain of similar stuff started to come one after an other. Younger people today can do pretty much everything by having access to apps on phones , computer’s programs and internet.I was about to blow my tirthy candles and that made me question myself, it made me wonder if I was getting to old for that and if it was the time for me to … stop?
I closed eyes, I remembered what I ask to God 20 years ago when I was just a kid and I blew.
Chapter 3 : The end is where we begin (conclusion)
As we know, it always darker before the dawn, I think I needed that little moment of doubts to Know if that was really it… If I just had to give up? Of course No! I’m not done yet, I have more to offer , more to accomplish and as long as I continue to receive emails every morning I will do my best to help people.
I’m aware of my stagnation, I climbed a mountain, I’m at the top now and I needed to rest but now I want to get higher so let’s build a rocket, get in and go to the unknown and beyond of whatever this career has to contribute to my simple human life.
I am setting myself new goals, adapting to the situation, making new plans and giving myself into learning news skills that combined with my experience will certainly transform and enhance the services I provide to you as a web and graphic designer freelance working online from home.
Cheers!
